People-pleasing is making you sick
Have you ever found yourself bending over backward just to keep everyone happy?
In a world where social acceptance often feels paramount, the urge to please others can become a relentless force in your life. You find yourself saying yes when you mean no, agreeing when you don’t, and accommodating others even at your own expense. The desire to be liked, to avoid conflict, or simply to keep the peace leads you down a path of constant people-pleasing. What you may not realize is the toll this takes on not only your emotional health, but your physical health too.
The stress overload of approval-seeking
Constantly prioritizing the desires and expectations of others above your own can breed chronic stress. Saying yes to everything while your gut screams "no!" not only messes with your mood, but throws off your health game. All that worry about letting people down? It's pumping out cortisol like there's no tomorrow, weakening your immune system, disrupting your sleep and contributing to anxiety and depression.
Striving for perfection in pleasing everyone? It's a trap
Constantly fearing you'll slip up? It's the reason behind those tension headaches, gut troubles, and mysterious aches that won't quit. The unattainable standard of perfection fuels anxiety and self-doubt. The fear of making mistakes or falling short of expectations generates a constant state of worry and apprehension. The toll of this anxiety extends beyond mental distress; it manifests physically in symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, and even chronic pain.
The fear of conflict
Dr. Neha Sangwan frames this as instead of staying centered with yourself, you check out and focus on the reactions or wants of others. You become like a piece of driftwood in the ocean, going whatever direction the wind blows so as not to rock the boat. This can cause overwhelm and burnout because we feel separate instead of grounded or centered. She describes it as short term high for long term yuck!
Lost your ability to know yourself? Flip the script
Setting boundaries, dropping the "yes" act, and giving yourself permission to make mistakes is how to get more connected to what you want. It’s like your superpower. And, if you need some backup? Therapy, supportive friends, or self-help resources can also be helpful in unlearning people-pleasing behaviors.
Being a people-pleaser might seem noble, but it can lead to chronic health issues. It’s OK to put yourself on that priority list, rock that "no" when you need to because looking out for number one isn't selfish—it's the ultimate power move toward reclaiming your inner badass.